It’s only mid-week and I felt that in my inner self the hell broke loose.

Firstly, I allowed myself to indulge in one day of medical leave,
but did not manage to recover from my tiredness,
nor complete the tasks on hand that will be due soon.

Secondly, things kept popping up at work,
that made me realised that despite being at my current post for about six months,
I am still lacking in many ways.
I do not see the strengths of the patients.
I lack of empathy and attentiveness to record the important details they’d provided to me.
I lack of the interview skills to conduct an assessment properly.

Thirdly, there are some feelings that I kept avoiding,
or should I say that I have yet to find acceptance towards the kindness my colleagues have showered upon me?
When I done things that I thought everyone will do naturally,
I am always surprised to receive praise or things from them.
Maybe I grew up in a (harsh) environment that I do not expect to be rewarded for my performance,
so my reaction in turn surprises them.
I have forgotten that my current workplace is a place where care and concern is the nature of work,
and I hope to be able to receive them more warmly in the future.
 
Thank God for the public holiday tomorrow,
so that I have time to reflect.
so that I can catch up with my work, exercises and studies.

My brother and CR is doing mission work in chiangmai,
pls keep them in prayers J